I imagine this is what sobering up must feel like.

Here it is, a week into February and I have written less than one thousand words this year total. It’s embarrassing. It’s shocking. It’s down right revolting. I haven’t blogged since… No… That can’t be right.

December Eleventh?

Oh dear. This won’t do at all.

I’ve managed to lose a whole month to the Post Retail Christmas Traumatic Stress Disorder. It’s a thing… look it up. I’ve only recently started to sleep like a normal person, aside from the fact that I’m a twenty nine year old man with a Pokemon addiction. Sometimes that creeps into my sleep time. Okay, it creeps in there a lot.

In November I was both a jerk and focused. I smashed out those fifty thousand words and laughed in the face of NaNoWriMo- “Ha ha ha ha haaaaa.” I told friends and family that I would not be going to their functions. Words flowed freely and I was exceptionally happy with my progress and the story.

I know what you’re thinking. “Well TJ… Tell me. Tell me what happened.” As I lay on the metaphorical psychologist’s couch before you, allow me to explain the blur that was December and January.

December came and my store was busier than I’ve experienced for this shop. As we were the little store that could, we struggled but managed to smash targets with lower wages than any other store in our area. I’ve said in retail before that the numbers simply don’t lie when we’re doing a good job, and we did a damn fine one.

After Christmas is followed by two weeks of sales and returns. Customers overjoyed with the deals and others who are absolutely pissed that our Christmas casual with two hours of training sold them the wrong thing and they opened it on Christmas. Yet another year I ruined at least half a dozen Christmases. That’s fine, fix it now and move on.

Then January comes where we begin clean up and sending out things that didn’t sell over Christmas. For the Christmas Period, I live and breathe the store, and when I’m not there, I’m thinking about it. Enter Pokemon. As a January Retail Zombie, lumbering along looking for brains, I needed something to jump start my brain. Anything besides work related things. I picked up the latest copy of Pokemon and decided that for the first time in a long time… I would catch them all.

At first it was a joke. Catch them all. PFFT. There’s literally a bajillion. (Note: Sarcasm)

Now? I’ve caught over four hundred legitimate Pokemon… with still a rough three hundred to go. *Cue Pokemon Theme Song*

So I did end up replacing work in my mind… with Pokemon. Now while I’m at work, I’m counting down the minutes until I can get home, crack open the DS and discover a few new Pokemon I’ve never seen before. Judge me. I don’t care. I love it like a fat kid loves cake.

Or just me… I love cake… a lot!

So now, oh now. Here we are and Past TJ has literally done absolutely nothing to help us on the journey to becoming a Pokemon Master Published Author. Future TJ seems to have some promise, but Future TJ is more concerned with turning the big Three Zero this year and what hole to hide in until people stop reminding him of it.

Meanwhile present TJ is here writing this blog, staring at the golden DS wherein lies untold amounts of Pokemon for capturing. Present TJ doesn’t seem too focused either but at least this poor guy is trying.

How are you fellow writers faring in this new year? Are you the broken little soldier that I am? Or are you already doing the book signings while us mere mortals look up inspirational writing quotes from our favorite authors? One of my friends has published her book. Another friend is actively seeking out publishers for her story. Congrats to those two! Let me know how you’re going in the comments, I’d love to hear from all of you! Until then… Gotta Catch Em All!

Uhh… I mean… write them… the words… Gotta Write Them All… Yes.

Side Note: Has anyone given any thought to a whole world where to gain a friend you pummel them to within an inch of their demise only to throw balls at them until they are forced to come along with you? The premise for Pokemon is weird.