Work is an odd place.
I work in retail and today, for a small moment, I found myself extremely proud to be there. Don’t get me wrong, I love my job, but I’ve always introduced the fact I work retail in a depressed sort of light. When people ask where my partner works, I’ve always been proud of the fact that she’s a teacher. She teaches the future generations kindness, patience and knowledge. These gifts are incredible and unparalleled. Then people turn to me. I feel the sweat begin to form beneath my arms. I get nervous. Then they ask the question I fear, “And where you do work?”
Back in Canada, retail has a stigma. Maybe it’s everywhere, I don’t know. Retail is looked at as that place where people who couldn’t get a career settle in. Upon my arrival in Australia, I knew retail was my best hope. I had next to no professional experience in programming and less than zero experience in animation. I did have plenty of experience in management though, so I relied on it. I had managed to get one retail job and managed to get two promotions there within a year. Then I moved across to my current company and managed a similar feat. Despite these accomplishments, I still avoided eye contact when people asked where I worked. I’d say things like, “I only work retail.” or “I’m just a manager.”
In reality, work is where I sometimes feel happiest. I’m not saying my home life is terrible and I’m not saying I’d change a thing. But everyday I feel that sense of accomplishment of getting something done or rallying the team to overcome a challenge. I not only enjoy it, I savour it. Perhaps it is due to my hobby of writing near accomplishing nothing. Maybe the path is too vague. At work the path is clear and the numbers don’t lie. When you’re doing well, you know it, and so do the sales. It’s nice to know that once I have finished something there is a result.
I felt extremely accomplished the moment I wrote the final words to Jefferson & The Magician’s Curse. I reread it and enjoyed it immensely. I passed it onto my partner who had many questions and comments. In fact, she’s still working on her edit. Now that it’s done, it’s almost like… what now? I recently read a story posted by one of the people I have met during my blogging escapades. It was so rich with detail I felt as though I’d been there. Her characters seemed like old friends. I finished the story and almost clapped it was that well done. Then I read her next blog post about how she’s still having trouble finding a publisher. The story was so good, I’d pay for it. Yet here I was, standing in the shadow of her talents, hoping to find my own success. Doom is about as close a word to the true feeling for my poor story.
At work today we rejoiced in the sales of last week, being up over a quarter of our target above the budget. We contributed to many of the goals and targets our region is tracking and we celebrated with the team. I had a load of fun joking around and despite the terrible weather outside and the lack of customers, I found myself just enjoying the day. My boss came off the conference call grinning and I asked him how it had gone. It had gone better than expected and apparently the bosses were happy. Everything has been going exceptionally well. Are there things to work on? Of course. But at the end of the day, this is the best job I’ve ever had. Today, for the first time in my life, I felt extremely proud of what I do for a living. But of course tomorrow is a new day, but for now, I feel like some sort of retail rockstar… so I’ll just ride the high while I can.
As for writing, I’m hoping to find that sense of accomplishment again sometime soon. I’ve also been trying to get up the courage to enter a local writing competition, or submit a short story for publication. It’s only taken a decade for me to be confident in retail… seems I just need some more time and some more completed stories to get there.
As for those of you out there who use Scrivener, do you make separate files for each different idea or do you have all your ideas in one place and have each idea in its own folder? This question relates very closely to the original reason I started using a wiki (which I may try to go back to at some point) as ideas and the such can be outlined for characters easier and story ideas can be worked on without switching screens. At the moment, all of my ideas are in their own “.scriv” files and when I’m working on one idea if I get inspiration into another, it’s very jarring to close one and load another. I’m open to suggestions!
Although I’ve heard plenty about the writings of the people beyond the screen, but what do you do to pay the bills? Who is the daytime author really?