Author: TJ Edwards

A Happy Birthday To Me

As of yesterday I turned thirty. Another year has flown by and another is already blazing past. It feels like just the other day I was getting back from Canada and preparing for Christmas. Now I’m doing my best to not have some midlife crisis (especially since my Dad passed away at the age of forty eight) but I’m also not trying to crumble at the prospects of my store being down a manager for the next few months. But who wants to hear about such drama?

Not me, that’s for sure.

In writing, I am at this accursed editing phase which is the part that few writers tell you about. I will liken it to that friend who tells you having kids is some sort of higher calling and that your life is meaningless without them. Then once you’re there and the damn thing is spreading poop all over the walls of its room you realise, you’ve been duped.

Writing for me is absolutely beautiful. The conversion of imagination into reality is an incredibly addictive feeling. Meeting a character on your own pages and having them show you the world gives you a feeling I cannot describe.

Remember that kid drawing on the walls with poop?

That’s editing.

Editing is that absolutely bitter aftertaste from the joyous first sip of glory. The lower half of the mermaid. The side of the coin that lost you the bet. Rock, when you picked scissors. I could go on, but in short… editing is not fun.

So in my novel I have had some beautiful moments of clever writing, and character developments and interactions that made me grin and beam with pride. Then every once in awhile, a line or a paragraph stands out as if I’d been possessed by some Foreign Exchange Student who english is roughly his fifth language. Writing is all high, no lows. You soar with the eagles and dream among the gods.

Then editing tears you down and beats you with a bar of soap in a sock in the middle of the night.

Editing is rewarding don’t get me wrong, but I’m definitely sobering up to my own writing abilities. Especially as a writer who doesn’t drink coffee or tea. I am pretty sure the better part of chapter sixteen was written while I was asleep. Spell check can only do so much before you realise that all the words are spelled correctly, but the sentence itself makes less than no sense and sounds more like the spell from a witch’s tome.

The other problem is my mind keeps having fresh ideas while I am trying to edit. Back stories are getting fleshed out, new characters are appearing to offer more depth to the story and the world becomes less like the real one and closer to its own being.

Now if only I wasn’t so tired, maybe I’d be able to focus on more editing. Not sure how some people worked full time and managed to write a book of quality. My hat is off to those wonderful folks.

Wish me luck, and… happy birthday to myself!

Chain Post – The Hobbit (Movie Edition)

Normally I hate chain mail (not the kind that keeps you from being skewered in medieval days) but when it comes to chain posts I believe they align with what all of us writers need; A push to write something, or anything!

A good blogging friend of mine tagged me (You can see that post here) and even though we may not know each other exceptionally well aside from our posts, me being chosen for this one is right on the money. I am a massive Tolkien fan! From my first experience with The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings, to the end of the films, I’ve been with them my whole life pretty much. So, apparently there are rules to this sort of thing:

1) You have to be tagged in order to do it.

2) You have to tag and notify at least three bloggers.

3) Answer the questions!

4) You must have seen The Battle of the Five Armies before taking this quiz.

Well if I must tag three others… that will be difficult, as I’m not sure who has seen it and who hasn’t. I will nominate: Umm… Hmm… and… Uh Oh. Ladies and Gents, anyone want to volunteer? If you do I’ll tag you here so others who read this post can click your links! Promise! (Just be sure to tag me in your post or comment below so I know!)

1) Tell your story of how you came to see the movies or got into Tolkien in the first place.

The movies I saw subsequently because of my pre-existing love for Tolkien. When I was in primary school I remember looking through the library for something to read. I’d been reading Goosebumps, Ghost and UFO stories when I stumbled across a misplaced book. It had a red dragon on the cover surrounded by gold and I thought, well… that’s different. So I took it out and brought it home. I was actually caught more by the title… What was a Hobbit? Surely it wasn’t this Dragon. As I read on I was introduced to dwarves and elves and a world unlike our own. It was my first brush with fantasy and I’ve enjoyed writing that genre since then.

2) Who are your three favourite characters in The Hobbit? 

This is a hard one, I assume we are talking about the movies here. I have a fondness for Smaug as I believe they kept him very true and not only that but he was done wonderfully from the book or not. As someone with a 3D Animation Diploma, I can appreciate the work that goes into such scenes. Gandalf has always been my absolute favorite wizard, (Harry Who?) and he ages like a fine wine. Aside from that, I would have to say I enjoyed Bilbo, although at times I felt the acting was a bit stiff.

3) Did you cry at The Battle of the Five Armies, and if so, which scenes and what type? 

No. But I will hijack this question to explain that my favorite scene from the movie was not in the book (not that I recall at least) and involved Gandalf, Galadriel, Saruman and Elrond. In fact, if anyone wanted to write a fictional account of those four acting like a Middle Earth A-Team, I would not be opposed.

4) Were the deaths compelling to you, and if so, whose?

The death I felt the most for was Smaug, as harsh as it is to say I simply didn’t feel for the death of the dwarves much. I think it was the fact that the majority of their deaths were long and drawn out almost as if they needed to fill another half an hour of footage. Kili’s death was actually so over the top and cringeworthy I just wanted the scene to end. In my head I kept saying “Now, just one more shot of him slowly dying, now back to her… now him… back to her…” I think I stifled back a laugh when I guessed they would do one more close up of Tauriel before progressing forward.

5) Overall, were you satisfied with the movie itself?

I was very satisfied with the movies, especially when separated from the books. I love Middle Earth as a world almost more than I love the stories within it. Of course, those stories shaped the world, but variations for the sake of entertainment is fine by me. I feel as though when you watch the movies, do NOT reread the book before hand. Rookie error! Things will be different, things will be cut, things will be expanded to adapt to the big screen. As I previously said, one of my favorite scenes did not happen in the book.

6) Describe the movie in one word.

One word? I would rather choose a name.

Peter Jackson.

This is his take on Middle Earth and the story of the Hobbit in particular. It’s not going to line up exactly with the book. There are some extras and there are somethings completely added. Like any art form there are many ways to interpret it, some will love it, some will hate it. Only you can choose to enjoy it as someone’s vision or not.

Me? I’m a fan of both, and why not? A lot of work went into them and they both hold a spot close to my heart.

Although for anyone who is a fan of Lord of the Rings more than The Hobbit, the game Shadow of Mordor may require some filmmaking down the line. Action packed story with drama and twists abound, it is a must play for those of you who enjoy the Tolkien universe.

A Consideration

So today, I decided to do a few quick Google searches for what popular or successful authors do for fun. I was shocked.

Go ahead. Google it. I dare you.

From what I can tell, writers don’t do much else. Makes sense when you think about it. Hundreds of distractions are released every day whether they’re on your phone, computer or in a shop. Even as we speak I have over fourteen hundred dollars awaiting release (an estimate, but close). I own over two hundred games on computer. I own a multitude of video games for my consoles. I have a faithful schedule when it comes to TV shows. I am in the middle of reading the Qur’an with a multitude of books behind it. Every few weeks two comic book trade paperbacks are delivered to my door. I work forty hours a week. I have two dogs and a girlfriend. Net time per week to do everything I want? Somewhere around negative one hundred and sixty hours a week. Not too bad.

So, ironically, here I sit writing about not writing because of all these distractions.

It seems that if I am to really become serious about writing I need to get rid of these distractions and tackle it head on. For November last year I was able to smash fifty thousand words in three weeks. This year, I’d be lucky if I’ve done ten thousand in a month and a half. Pretty poor effort. I need people to get excited to write and I need to be supported in my writing. I have looked into writing groups in my area, but there isn’t a lot of selection nor consistency. So for now, I walk the path alone.

Also… it’s as hot as the hinges of hell here, at least for a Canadian. That definitely helps with focus (and napping).


The Chameleon…


The drive to Duchison was long and monotonous. Tree after tree. Song after song. As I pulled up to the maximum security prison, a guard approached my car at the front gate, his uniform not unlike an official police one.

“Evening Sir, what business do you have at the prison?” His tone was sharp and his eyes surveyed my car.

“I’m here to see an inmate about an ongoing investigation, one Mitch Maloney.” I flashed my badge and the guard snapped it from my hand.

“One moment sir.”

I watched as the guard walked back into his tiny hut and picked up a phone. I could see ice hockey was playing on a small television in front of him as he angled the badge in the dim lighting. When he returned he passed the badge back to me. “Sorry about that,” He smiled. “Protocol.”

With a nod and a smile, I slid my badge back into my pocket and turned to the gates as they opened. The small road lead to a parking lot, where a much angrier looking guard approached my car and waved me into a spot. I turned to him with a smile, and he did all but leer at me. Nice guy. He lead me through gate after security gate until at the last stop I found myself virtually being strip searched.

“Hey watch that, that’s not a weapon!” I felt a slight bit of shame as the guard glanced up at me. He had turned bright red in the face, which meant he probably didn’t want to touch me there either. Suddenly our attentions turned away as five guards and a medic rushed past and into the prison.

“Well that can’t be good.” I muttered, trying to skim over the fact I’d been violated.

The young man cleared his throat and stood with a nod. “It never is.” He gestured to another set of doors and I followed him in.

Ah finally, the meeting room. I walked up and took my place at the desk and waited patiently for Mr Maloney. The place smelled strongly of bleach and perhaps that was why everything seemed so clean. I ran my hand across the smooth desk and felt a small bump upon its surface. As I began to scratch at the tiny imperfection, my concentration was interrupted.

“Detective Ward?”

I turned quickly in surprise and saw two guards standing on either side of an older gentleman in a suit.

“That’s me.” I replied. “What’s going on?”

“My name is Victor Cromwell, and I run this prison.” The older man stated. “I also wanted to ask you the same thing.”

I shook my head. “I don’t understand. I’m here investigating a string of murders in the area and I believe Mr Maloney-”

“Mitch Maloney is dead, Detective.” Victor said bluntly. “He was found in his cell, an apparent suicide.”

“Suicide?” I felt my eyes widen and my heart race. “Pills?”

Victor’s eyes narrowed suspiciously. “Yes.”

“Now there’s ten victims.” I stated bluntly. “All with the same suicide pattern. Can I see him?”

“You most certainly may not!” Victor stared long and hard at me. “I have half a mind to consider that you were somehow involved in this!”

Reeling in shock, I stepped back. “Me? How would that even be possible I-”

“You what?” Victor spat. “You’re the man’s first visitor in nearly a decade and at your visit we find that somehow he has come across pills and killed himself. This can be no mere coincidence.”

I glanced down to my shoes, one of which was scuffed. “I’ll admit, that is a bit strange. But I was told to come here by someone!”

“And who is that someone?” Victor asked.

“Uhh…” I thought back long and hard. The man had never given me a name. “I cannot recall.”

“Are you truly a detective?” Victor accused. “Or are you simply some poor misinformed sod?”

“Hey now, there’s no need for that.” I moved toward Victor and both guards moved before him.

“Gentlemen, see to it that Detective Ward makes it back to his car.” Victor shook his head. “And don’t bother leaving town, we will have more questions for you soon, of that I am sure.”

The escorted walk back to my car was quick and somewhat aggressive, and as I pulled away the front gate guard waved politely. I shook my head. “Well, that guy doesn’t belong there.”

Suddenly my cell phone began to ring. I pulled off to the side of the road and answered “Hello, this is Detective Ward.”

The voice on the other end sounded slightly familiar. “Detective, we met before… in your office. How did your visit go?”

“He’s dead. As of today.” I said. “Another suicide.”

“Oh, oh no. He was a good man.” The voice said.

I shook my head in disbelief. “So why send me to him, and why is he dead?”

“I wanted you to clear his name. He was set up by The Chameleon.”

“What the hell is The Chameleon?” I demanded.

“Not what, but who.” The voice said quietly. Suddenly a loud beep shattered my thoughts. I pulled the phone from my ear and glanced at it. “Call ended.” I swallowed the lump in my throat.

Hopefully, he’d be alive next time I saw him.

*To possibly be continued*

The Starting Line & The Chameleon

The first few words are the hardest.

Today I sit at the computer after destroying my brain on some training from home and I found myself struggling to even start a short story. I’m not feeling particularly inspired, I suppose work will do that. Even Pokemon seems like an effort after my training. So since I was having trouble coming up with anything, I decided to toss out some of the first words of popular titles. Maybe they will inspire me, or maybe they’ll inspire you. Either way, today I’m making the effort to try and blog again and I’m hoping that I can get back on that writing horse soon.

Writing is its own therapy, lets hope it doesn’t take too long!

The Hunger Games – When I wake up, the other side of my bed is cold.

The Hobbit – In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit.

A Tale of Two Cities – It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.

Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone – Mr. and Mrs. Dursley of number four Privet Drive were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much.

Peter Pan – All children, except one, grow up.

1984 – It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen.

Fahrenheit 451 – It was a pleasure to burn.

Count of Monte Cristo – On the 24th of February, 1810, the look-out at Notre-Dame de la Garde signalled the three-master, the Pharaon from Smyrna, Trieste, and Naples.

Interview With The Vampire – “I see . . .” said the vampire thoughtfully, and slowly he walked across the room towards the window.

The Call Of Cthulu – The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents.

The Divine Comedy – Midway upon the journey of our life, I found myself within a forest dark, for the straightforward pathway had been lost.

Fight Club – Tyler gets me a job as a waiter, after that Tyler’s pushing a gun in my mouth and saying, the first step to eternal life is you have to die.

These are a sampling from my bookshelf, the crazy things I read. The only one I like that isn’t on my book shelf is 1984’s start, it just screams ominous.

As for inspiration, perhaps I feel inspired now that I’ve read a few of these.


The Chameleon


I stared dumbfounded at the files, photos and documents spread across my desk. Another suicide. I flipped through photo after photo. No pattern of age, race or profession. Nine bodies. Nine identical suicides.

“Excuse me, Detective Ward?”

I glanced up at the cold looking man before me. His long, charcoal colored trench coat screamed internal affairs while his icy stare and steeled jaw whispered something more. “Uhh… yes? Can I help you with something?”

“I believe you already are.” He motioned slightly to a chair on the other side of my desk. “May I?”

“Of course, please.” I watched him as he sat, his eyes darting across the photos. My stomach turned uneasily. “So what am I helping you with?”

“This case, these so called suicides.” He smirked, and it looked as unnatural as it made me feel uncomfortable. “You don’t believe that’s all they are… do you?”

The collar of my shirt felt tight, and I adjusted it with a pair of fingers. “No. But this is an ongoing investigation, I don’t believe we shall continue this discuss-”

“I know someone who knows the killer.” The man interrupted.

I stared at him long and hard. “Sorry… what did you say your name was?”

“I never gave it.” He replied.

“Do you want me to arrest you and hold you for obstructing justice?” I clawed at my side for my handcuffs and slammed them on the desk once I felt the steel in my hands. “Get to the point, or get out!”

The man smiled, his pasty skin seemingly pulled too tight around his lips. “I’d be out before this evening. But I agree; To the point then. The person you are seeking is an ex government international agent.”

“Like a secret spy?” I nearly laughed out loud as I slid the cuffs from the desk. “You can’t be serious.”

“Oh I’m quite serious.” The man said as he ran his fingers through his jet black hair. “This person is extremely dangerous.”

“If you know all of this, why come to me and not go to the government agency that deals with them?” I asked.

“Because that could implicate myself.” The man rose and nodded to me. “Now I must be on my way, good day Detective.” He began to step away, and turned back. “Go to Duchison Prison, ask for Mitch Maloney.”

“Mitch Maloney? The spy turned double agent that is in prison for life?” I shook my head. “Why?”

“Ask him about the Chameleon.” The man said. “You’ll find him rather… informative.”

As the man walked away I glanced back down to the pictures and shook my head. I shivered as chills ran up my spine and rose, grabbing my jacket and keys. Mitch Maloney? I hadn’t heard the name in nearly a decade, I guess I’d always assumed he’d died like the many other inmates who have gone to Duchison. But one thing bugged me even more than that.

What the hell did he mean by the Chameleon?

*To Possibly Be Continued*


It’s not much… but it’s a start! Hopefully some of you will get back into it as well! Good luck!

January? More Like Janu-Where-Are-You?

I imagine this is what sobering up must feel like.

Here it is, a week into February and I have written less than one thousand words this year total. It’s embarrassing. It’s shocking. It’s down right revolting. I haven’t blogged since… No… That can’t be right.

December Eleventh?

Oh dear. This won’t do at all.

I’ve managed to lose a whole month to the Post Retail Christmas Traumatic Stress Disorder. It’s a thing… look it up. I’ve only recently started to sleep like a normal person, aside from the fact that I’m a twenty nine year old man with a Pokemon addiction. Sometimes that creeps into my sleep time. Okay, it creeps in there a lot.

In November I was both a jerk and focused. I smashed out those fifty thousand words and laughed in the face of NaNoWriMo- “Ha ha ha ha haaaaa.” I told friends and family that I would not be going to their functions. Words flowed freely and I was exceptionally happy with my progress and the story.

I know what you’re thinking. “Well TJ… Tell me. Tell me what happened.” As I lay on the metaphorical psychologist’s couch before you, allow me to explain the blur that was December and January.

December came and my store was busier than I’ve experienced for this shop. As we were the little store that could, we struggled but managed to smash targets with lower wages than any other store in our area. I’ve said in retail before that the numbers simply don’t lie when we’re doing a good job, and we did a damn fine one.

After Christmas is followed by two weeks of sales and returns. Customers overjoyed with the deals and others who are absolutely pissed that our Christmas casual with two hours of training sold them the wrong thing and they opened it on Christmas. Yet another year I ruined at least half a dozen Christmases. That’s fine, fix it now and move on.

Then January comes where we begin clean up and sending out things that didn’t sell over Christmas. For the Christmas Period, I live and breathe the store, and when I’m not there, I’m thinking about it. Enter Pokemon. As a January Retail Zombie, lumbering along looking for brains, I needed something to jump start my brain. Anything besides work related things. I picked up the latest copy of Pokemon and decided that for the first time in a long time… I would catch them all.

At first it was a joke. Catch them all. PFFT. There’s literally a bajillion. (Note: Sarcasm)

Now? I’ve caught over four hundred legitimate Pokemon… with still a rough three hundred to go. *Cue Pokemon Theme Song*

So I did end up replacing work in my mind… with Pokemon. Now while I’m at work, I’m counting down the minutes until I can get home, crack open the DS and discover a few new Pokemon I’ve never seen before. Judge me. I don’t care. I love it like a fat kid loves cake.

Or just me… I love cake… a lot!

So now, oh now. Here we are and Past TJ has literally done absolutely nothing to help us on the journey to becoming a Pokemon Master Published Author. Future TJ seems to have some promise, but Future TJ is more concerned with turning the big Three Zero this year and what hole to hide in until people stop reminding him of it.

Meanwhile present TJ is here writing this blog, staring at the golden DS wherein lies untold amounts of Pokemon for capturing. Present TJ doesn’t seem too focused either but at least this poor guy is trying.

How are you fellow writers faring in this new year? Are you the broken little soldier that I am? Or are you already doing the book signings while us mere mortals look up inspirational writing quotes from our favorite authors? One of my friends has published her book. Another friend is actively seeking out publishers for her story. Congrats to those two! Let me know how you’re going in the comments, I’d love to hear from all of you! Until then… Gotta Catch Em All!

Uhh… I mean… write them… the words… Gotta Write Them All… Yes.

Side Note: Has anyone given any thought to a whole world where to gain a friend you pummel them to within an inch of their demise only to throw balls at them until they are forced to come along with you? The premise for Pokemon is weird.