End of an Era

I did it. I actually hit deactivate on my Twitter account.

That app is where I found so many kindred spirits and a lovely community of writers, many of which I’ve met in person or have chatted to online. It was where I finally felt seen as an author and felt the joy of having complete strangers compliment my work.

These are not feelings that fade, but they do tarnish.

What Elon Musk has done to the app should honestly be studied in the future as a cautionary tale of how to turn an incredible app into a billionaire submersible equivalent. Musk has managed to tarnish his own legacy by being an outright idiot and doubling down on being so. I can still remember, many moons ago, that Elon had me intrigued. The man was a billionaire and investing in the things I wished I could have. Electric cars! Home Batteries! Solar Roofing! Space travel! I even said at one point that the man was like a living Tony Stark, minus the fancy metal suit.

Fast forward a few years and I harbour a hatred for the man that he has fostered through his arrogant public persona. From his transphobia, to his backing of Trump, to simply claiming credit for much of his teams’ successes, I simply am in awe at his fall from grace. The last nails in that coffin for me? Coming for my social media platform of choice. This may seem petty, but it was a place where I’ve had some incredible interactions. Famous authors have commented on my posts, I’ve had famous folks like my tweets, and it all felt like a brush with circles otherwise distant from me.

Now? Twitter (now aptly named X, for it is now my ex social app of choice) is rife with racism, folks slinging around slurs, I’ve seen photos/videos of people dead or dying, and the block button is worthless. The ads are always irrelevant, the Elon Cheer Squad are always prioritised (blue ticks), and frankly with his latest update stating that whatever we share on there WILL be used to train AI, well, in short, feck that.

So, while I’m on Threads, Facebook, and a few dozen other apps I rarely use, I will miss old Twitter. I’ll miss interacting with authors such as Anthony Horowitz who leapt into a conversation about his book Magpie Murders. I’ll miss having my literary heroes coming across my tweet and tossing me a like. These things could change the mood of a day or rejuvenate me for another writing session.

Anyway, I’ll step down off my soapbox for now.

In other news, I’m seriously considering writing book reviews in the hopes it can earn me a few extra dollars for the bookshop. I read any and everything, and I believe my rating system to be far more just than other folks.

5 stars – Excellent read, enjoyable through and through, easily recommended.
4 stars – Great read, an issue or two, but still recommendable.
3 stars – Average read, perhaps just not for me, possibly recommended for particular readers.
2 stars – Not enjoyable, perhaps content with no warning that should have had one, misleading marketing, broken parts.
1 star – I tend not to use, this is for books that haven’t been edited properly, misleading, broken, confusing, awful dialogue, poor writing in general, plot flaws, etc.
No Rating – For books that were clearly not to my taste.

For a no rating example, I read a book that was essentially a checklist of traumas with no trigger warnings (it would have required a chapter for them) and was sold as a dark comedy. As someone who made a “Guess I won’t bring the marshmallows” joke to my Mom when she told me they couldn’t wait for me to get come to cremate my Dad, dark comedy is where I live. No, this wasn’t dark comedy. None of it was funny. I felt like the “semi-autobiographical” label was a cry for help and I should have been calling someone for a welfare check on them. So, no rating, but the review was around the reasons why as stated here.

Also, I am a firm believer that you CANNOT and SHOULD NOT rate or review a book if you don’t finish it. “I was in the Louvre, didn’t see the Mona Lisa, but one star.” The book I’ll use as my example here is Daphne du Maurier’s Rebecca. I loathed the unnamed protagonist as she began spiralling into her own thoughts and manufacturing her own despair. I would have put the book down, but I was listening to it in my car, so I soldiered on. Then, out of nowhere, the twist drops and I nearly had to pull over to listen to it again. Completely changed the book. After that, I finished the book before bed.

Perhaps people think I’m too generous, and maybe I am. I know how much work goes into these books and I’ll be damned if I’m going to One Star/DNF for an author.

Anyway, it’s something I’m thinking about. We will see how we go. For now, I’ll continue trying to squeeze in some writing time and running the bookshop as best I can!

October 6, 2024

155 Books… And Counting

One hundred fifty-five.

In grams of chips, this isn’t a whole lot. In books that I’ve plowed through this year? It’s also not a lot in the grand scheme of things.

There are roughly two million books that get published in english alone every year and the average person reads twelve of those. Twelve. One a month. A few years ago, I was the average man, reading my twelve books and completely oblivious to the numbers, ratios and other statistics around book publishing. Now that I own a secondhand bookshop, I feel I owe it to my customers to read more. I decided to make a scuff mark on that ridiculous two million and set a target of two hundred books for 2024. This is the literary equivalent of saying, “I’m going to do a million push ups.” It feels absolutely ludicrous. That being said, I’m three books ahead of schedule.

Now, you’re probably wondering, “How the hell are you managing that many books?!” Which is an absolutely fair question to ask. I have a three year old, a three month old, a wife, two dogs, a small business, and I also try and write. So, while I still manage to sit down and read twelve to thirty books a year (no, I don’t include the books I read my boys), I began listening to audiobooks. And before you start sharpening your pitchforks or lighting your torches, hear me out, you bloody peasant.

My wife, who is my biggest enabler and supporter, stands firmly on the hill of “audiobooks don’t count” and will happily die on said hill, should we ever go to actual war. Meanwhile, I stand firmly on, “sorry, do you mean the original way stories existed?” hill, and will also happily die here too. While the debate rages on, everywhere (including in my shop), the truth of the matter is… don’t yuck someone else’s yum. Audiobooks are incredible tools for accessibility as not everyone gets the luxury of reading a book, but also, they’re a perfectly fine way to revisit your classics. None of these are why I listen though. Not at all.

I listen to audiobooks while my hands are busy but my brain is simply existing. Sure, sometimes I would think up wonderful things. Scenes. Characters. Problem solve. But, I reckon, a lot of that time used to be an absolute wheel of death moment. A window not responding. Homer from the Simpsons spinning in circles on the floor. A dog chasing its own tail. Now? OH HO, BOY! Yeah, I binge like there’s no tomorrow. I shoehorn books into bathroom breaks. Into commutes. Into doing the laundry, the dishes, cooking, and cleaning. I AM A DOMESTIC GODDESS… all thanks to audiobooks. Also, listening to them as fast as I talk (2x speed) means sixty hours of audiobook (aka a four book series such as The Mirror Visitor Quartet, great books by the way) works out to thirty hours!

Don’t get me wrong. I have the IKEA Strandmon, complete with footrest, warm blanket, and over the shoulder lamp. I love to sit down in that chair and devour a book (but also nap… my back cringes at the thought), but with the three year old in bed by 830, the three month old settled by 9, where does that leave me? In fact, this post is being written at 12:38 AM. I still have to shower. I finished the audiobook of Steal Like an Artist by Austin Kleon while I took out the bins and went through some more books in the garage and tidied it up so my wife can get in and out of her car easier. Then, I started Anne Lamott’s Bird by Bird (20% done) while I tidied up from dinner and put the dishwasher on. My wife and I currently pass like ships in the night, both on our ways to maintaining a productive and somewhat organised household.

So, to sum it all up… sharpen your pitchforks and light the torches, I’m an audiobook addict and can’t devalue the number of books I’ve managed to get through that I never would have otherwise. Also, being able to get through so many books has enabled to me get to books I wouldn’t have normally or books I would likely never have read. I’m looking at you Julia Quinn’s The Duke & I (which I absolutely loved, that Bridgerton TV show is garbage by comparison). They have their place in passing the time, accessibility, learning differently, and most of all, scratching that itch of not missing out. Two million books might as well be infinity, but at least now, I’m making a scuff mark.

-TJ

PS – If you’ve always wanted to try audiobooks and want to also support my tiny little secondhand bookshop, feel free to download the Libro.FM App and choose “annesnowra” as your preferred shop to earn us commission on any books/subscriptions you buy. Alternatively, you can just go here to look into it. If you have any questions or concerns, feel free to ask in the comments or contact me through the form!

June 9, 2024

A Dream Deferred

Willpower is a funny thing.

If I were to fall in the water, I’m unable to swim, but I can hold my breath and remain calm enough to climb back out. I once rushed headlong into two dogs attacking another in the hopes of saving the dog and his young owner. I have also stayed awake all hours and worked all the next day.

Yet, somehow, I cannot finish the edits on my novel.

I have wonderful support in my various writing groups, on my socials, even in person as I inadvertently pitch my novel to prospective readers. Outside of those circles are local authors such as Allison Tait and Kell Woods, who have been kind enough to lend an ear and offer advice.

My edits have been going well and I can tell that this draft is the closest I’ve come to all the commercial fiction I’m reading or listening to. It’s smooth, the characters are interesting, the premise (totally not biased here) is fun, and people are interested in it.

So, why can’t I finish my edits?

Sure, I could blame it on owning and running a small business. The bookshop is my happy place. I could blame it on a three year old, my heavily pregnant wife, and the impending birth of our next child. I could blame it on the weather, the yard work, the house maintenance, or just being exhausted from doing (or even just thinking about) all of these things.

The truth is rooted somewhere in imposter syndrome and the difficulty of the task.

You see, the closer this manuscript gets to a publishable quality, the more I second guess all of it. The characters. The plot. The dialogue. The two first person points of view. The twist. I’m worried that it might get accepted and then someone will realise I made the whole thing up! Not only that, but I’ve done very well at getting a first draft out. I could start a new story idea tomorrow and have the draft out in a short span of time. It’s this drafting and rewriting that I’m having trouble with. I have yet to find my love for this part of the craft, which when you’ve rewritten a story and are on what is likely your seventeenth draft, you begin to lose your mind.

Yes, I’ve come here to vent, more to get it out of my mind and move on than anything else. Sometimes that’s all you need. In the meantime, I’m still participating in #FuriousFiction by the Australian Writers’ Centre every month. This month’s story ended up being about two personalities of the same person, titled “Two Sides of the Same Prison.”

It’s late and I’m heading to the bookshop for my public holiday to play catch up a little bit more before I’m off on parental leave. This means I should probably get some rest before putting myself to work, but I also had a short nap while putting my son to bed tonight, hence why I’m up so late.

At least there’s two updates to the blog this year, how about that? Maybe there’ll be more to come, and maybe even some good news down the track!

February 3, 2024

The Annual Update Anniversary

So, last year when I jokingly wrote that I was doing an annual update, little did I know that was prophetic.

Now, here we are in 2024 and I’m doing an update in February! Less than a year since my last post! Incredible!

Well, time to catch you all up on the life and times since May 2023, and away we go!

Family Life:

Things appear to be going well all aside from the bloody budget crunching thanks to the insane interest rates at the moment. I know we’re faring better than most, so I won’t complain about it too much. That being said, my son is a lover of books and his attention span is growing for bigger books. He’s two, but his highest interest is the trio of choose-your-own-adventure novels I brought home. He wasn’t a huge fan of the haunted house one (I do fun voices, but I chose to do spookier ones for that), but the Dino Time Travel and Build Your Own Robot stories have been a big hit. Maybe he’ll be more into sci-fi!

Work Life:

I still have the shop and it’s going great! I am absolutely still loving the job, but I know I have a challenging conversation coming up in regards to renewing the lease. As I don’t want to move it, I’m hoping the landlord comes to the party as she said she prefers long-term tenants as opposed to a revolving door or vacancy. Seriously though, running a bookshop has been a dream of mine and it feels weird to actually be living it!

Reading Life:

For 2023 I managed 156 books through reading and audiobooks. What an incredible year! Some of the highlights I had from last year: Discovered Anthony Horowitz (then interacted with him on Twitter!), read more Indigenous authors than ever before, picked up a physical copy of Zen in the Art of Writing by Ray Bradbury (SIGNED!), and found myself crying (Before the Coffee Gets Cold), laughing (The Duke & I, romance/biting wit!), confused (The Three Body Problem, first book to make me feel too stupid to read it) and downright concerned for the author (The Eulogy, seriously though, someone go hug her!). I’ve set a LOFTY goal of 200 books this year, and I’m on track halfway through my 21st read!

Writing Life:

The whole reason this blog exists. Writing. Last year, I managed to rack up a few decent things for the old writing CV. In 2023 I managed to get showcased twice on the Australian Writers’ Centre’s #FuriousFiction competition with a long listing earlier in the year too. This follows on from my win in April 2021, and I’ve already managed a longlisting in January this year!

I also placed second in Storyfest’s writing competition which is an excellent win (especially since it was a modified story for a specific publication the year before last). The best part about this is it gives me a bit more confidence that I can write outside the #FuriousFiction competitions and it netted me a gift card for books and a voucher for classes!

In Writing in general, I’m still working on my rewrite of Jefferson (the book now known as The Magician’s Curse). Rewriting for point of view, editing for tense and pronouns, and ensuring the story still holds up has been my biggest challenge yet. Aside from that though I’ve just finished February’s #FuriousFiction, I have a short story about a cat on submission, another story to short édition, and a longer story on sub to Aurealis. So, all in all, I’m putting myself out there and more people are seeing my work than ever.

And that brings us to the end of yet another annual update! If you’re lucky, you may end up with a second post before the end of the year, but don’t count on it! I have some other news I’ll be sitting on for a little bit longer, so we will see how that pans out for the midyear! For now, back to writing/editing!

May 31, 2023

I Have No Recollection Of This Place

It’s been a while (too long), so I thought I’d share a few things that have happened recently!

First, my short story “Untitled” was long-listed in the Australian Writers’ Centre’s Furious Fiction competition! This is a competition I have won previously, so to get mentioned again is an honor. Also, unfortunately, my title was not actually planned to be untitled, but I always name the story at the end and send it through. Because I was submitting while tired, I neglected to do that and only realized after the bar began loading after hitting submit. A silly mistake and a lesson learned.

Aside from that, tomorrow will mark six months of working for myself as the owner of Anne’s Second Hand Book Shop in Nowra. Time truly flies when you’re having fun and I don’t feel like I’ve worked a day in the past six months! This has also had the subsequent side effect of reading more, A LOT MORE, as I am on my 66th book this year. To put that in perspective, that is six books more than my previous FIVE years of reading. I. Am. Loving. It.

On the writing front, aside from short story competitions (which I am getting more confident with), I am back to working on my novel, The Magician’s Curse. You’ll note I’ve dropped the name of the main character and this comes off the back of a structural decision to follow both Jefferson and Gabriel and since it’s not just Jefferson’s story anymore, I dropped his name. It very much is still his story (after all, he’s the protagonist of future books) but without the focus on him, the title works better as it is. I’m excited about the latest edit, to say the least.

Anyway, my boy has already woken from his nap but know that I’m not dead and writing is still very much a passion and goal of mine! Talk to you all again soon!

October 23, 2022

The (Apparently) Annual Update

Let’s start by saying that things don’t always go according to plan.

If you’re looking for many words of inspiration, you won’t find them here. No, instead you’ll find a plethora of reasons as to why I have been unable to get published. I’ll skip through them and cut straight to the chase, I needed a breather.

You see, writing is a labor of love and self-abuse. You write something you love, then you make it look like you meant to write it the way that you did. Then you tidy up your grammar, make vital cuts, and rewrite until your fingers ache. At some point, I think I began to tell myself that my story wasn’t up to scratch, that despite all of the fantastic and glorious feedback I’d received, somehow my book was awful.

So I edited it.

Then edited some more.

I cut a character; a dangerous game when you’ve written two novels set after book one.

I did this until I finally backed away after rejection #(Still in double digits somewhere) and just stepped away from submitting to agents. Then, I stepped away from the book completely. I stepped away from writing completely.

I changed careers, loving my new job when they suddenly announced a change that will dramatically affect my work/life balance. I put my head in my hands and I felt my pulse race. Not again. I ran my fingers through what little hair I do have. Not again.

Now I sit on the precipice of yet another decision. Stick with the new job and sacrifice 6 hours a week with my son? Or find work elsewhere as the company is refusing to budge on their decision.

Whatever happens, I opened the door to my writing room once again and peered in, a physical and visual representation of my mind. Books stacked every which way. A half-finished wooden globe beckoning to be finished. Two hourglasses sit, mocking the time I’m wasting. I sit the three new books I bought from work on a pile and move globe pieces from my usual writing chair.

***

Odd to come back to a half written post a few months later.

No, I’m still not published. No, I still haven’t gotten back into my writing routine.

However…

I’ve made a deal with a fellow writer to help push her to add more to her manuscript in preparation for a Varuna Fellowship next year. I’m going to edit at ten times whatever she writes. Yes, I hate myself that much. But also, she has stretch goals including me cutting and rewriting chapters. If she keeps ahead of target, I’ll keep pushing like I’ve got a month to live. Essentially, if she finished above 30,000 words, I should have edited and rewritten a brand new draft of my book next month. Don’t worry everyone… the energy drinks are on the way. So is the printed and bound manuscript I’ve ordered for such an occasion. Made me feel good when Officeworks called to say the book was too big for the thermal binding. Then I also started sweating. NaNoWriMo is more NaNoEdMo for me. I just hope I survive.

Also, because trying to edit and rewrite a novel isn’t enough, me and my wife are looking into buying a secondhand bookshop. It’s been on the cards to run our own business for a long time and we always put things off like buying property, investing, skipped over buying a business not too long ago, and now… here we are. This may not be the exact opportunity we’ve been looking for, but it also very well may. Anyway, for now I’ll be editing… if I get a chance, I’ll try and pop by here at least a little bit more frequently!

April 4, 2021

Times Are A Changin’

Wow, it’s 2021. How did that happen?

It’s been quite some time since I updated anything to this website or my blog and mainly that is because last year sucked the life out of me. Living in Australia has been excellent in regards to COVID and its issues, but working retail during everything that happened left me an empty shell of a man. Just to recap:

January 2020 – Bushfires

February 2020 – Floods

March 2020 – Coronavirus & Stocktake

April 2020 – Coronavirus

May 2020 – Turned 35, oh and Coronavirus

June 2020 – End of Financial Year Sale (Xmas in June really) and Coronavirus

July 2020 – Coronavirus

August 2020 – Coronavirus

September 2020 – Stocktake and Coronavirus

October 2020 – Coronavirus

November 2020 – Coronavirus, Cyber Friday Sales, Xmas Prep

December 2020 – Xmas… and Coronavirus

During last year I had four COVID tests, a health scare (my doctor found a mass in my abdomen that she was worried was lymphoma), aggressive and abusive customers for the entirety of the COVID times and on top of it all found out my wife was pregnant. To say 2020 was a rollercoaster would be an understatement. Maybe one where in the first minute the security gives way and you spend the rest of the ride simply clutching on. FUN TIMES.

As for writing, I truly feel like my soul took a beating this past year. I began questioning what I was doing with my life. I considered going into politics (I couldn’t do worse, right?). I submitted to a bunch of publishers and got a manuscript assessment; positive feedback, no takers though. I wrote eighty thousand words into book three and then my brain simply broke and I have barely written a thing since. I can’t focus. I barely get to the computer. Even this post is an attempt to get back into writing when and where I can.

This year has started off with a bang with the birth of my firstborn though! He’s super cute and going pretty well. The view from where I sit on the floor has my wife and two dogs sound asleep on the bed and my son swaddled and sleeping soundly. If you want to know what a view of the world looks like, that’s the most succinct one I can provide.

The trouble is now I must decide whether I continue working on Jefferson and Gabriel’s story or if I simply shelve it for now and write something else. There is another idea in the back of my mind for middle grade and it does tie into my world, so… maybe? I just don’t know at the moment. Although the cover artists for middle grade books are absolutely killing it, they look way more interesting than some stupid “The SOMETHING of SOMETHING and SOMETHING” titles. GIVE ME A BREAK.

Anyway, I suppose this post is just to make sure the website still works and to let you know I am still alive with the dream of being a writer. But with my wife on maternity leave, a newborn, and a full time job, sometimes dreams take a bit of a back burner. Hopefully this post is a return to some semblance of writing regularly.

Thanks for sticking around!

Sincerely, TJ Edwards