Author: TJ Edwards

The Struggle

I suspect many aspiring authors post about not being able to write, Writer’s block being a common theme. But for me, I could write anywhere from eight to ten thousand words a day given the time. However with eight (or so) hours dedicated to sleep, roughly two for eating and food preparation, and eight (or so) dedicated to work… this has left me with six hours for writing. Six sounds like quite a bit doesn’t it? Well, considering I haven’t factored in travel time to and from work (not bad, thirty to forty minutes) and bathroom breaks (including shower time, looking at less another hour or so), down to roughly four hours. That is quite a bit of time, right? Well, I have a partner who enjoys my company and two dogs who are demanding. Unfortunately, I can’t leave one with the other as that would be selfish for her to take care of them all the time and would be neglectful of me to not spend time with her as well as the pups. So in short, I have no time. I keep buying books and games, in the hopes that I will be able to one day enjoy them. This is a laughable concept, however I have many more games and movies on preorder. Hope, as well as home, is where the heart is.

You’re probably thinking, “Well, what about your days off?” I too have considered this. I try to write as much as I can on my days off but as my partner works Monday to Friday, my days off on the weekend are allocated to spending time together, general catching up with friends and visiting family. If my day off happens upon a weekday, you may see a post such as this one. I may also bunker down and put some words into one of my stories. I may do both (insanity, I know). So it seems as though it is an entirely uphill battle of which I make very little, if any, progress.

I bought a book about time management, which has some fantastic advice. “Make time for the things that are important to you. If you’re not achieving your goals, no matter what else is going on, you will be unhappy.” This is very true. However managing your time and finding more time are two different things. It used to be that I would prioritise my writing, before the day began and before work got in the way. Waking up an hour early was to wake up with a purpose and to accomplish my writing before the day began was extremely fulfilling. Now I get up at that early time anyway to take the dogs out and feed them before I head to work for seven in the morning, and I cannot seem to get to bed any earlier. It is extremely frustrating and despite the fact I am achieving my goals at work, my personal goals are getting left in the dust.

It’s been getting to the point where I’m wondering if I stopped trying to write, would my overall mood improve? Would I be less frustrated and short fused? The only problem is, my imagination won’t give up or turn off, so how do I control that?

Hmm… even that thought sparks an idea for a story. A test subject trying to suppress his creativity through government experiments discovers that through suppression, his mind has been enhanced and enables him to create anything from nothing but the energy in the world around him . As the government tries to control him, he escapes and tries to go into hiding, only to be hunted down until he realises that to be free means to destroy his enemies or himself.

I’ll put it in the for retirement pile. *Sigh*

Fragment: The Truth About Heaven and Hell

Fragment (Noun)

1. a piece broken off or detached
2. an incomplete piece or portion
3. a scrap, morsel, bit
 
I’m looking to reorganise my blog and start focusing more on the quality of writing hosted here. With this in mind, I’ve come up with some new ideas that I will try and maintain going forward. The concept of a “Fragment” in this case will refer to an incomplete idea or scene that will come to form a larger work, such as a short story or novel. Today’s instance will be the concept for a story I’ve had for awhile, and involves the fallen angel Lucifer explaining the reasoning behind the symbolism of Heaven and Hell and what the real purpose of Hell is.
 
***
 
The duo stood before the hooded man, his golden hair flowing from the ashen hood cloaking his face in darkness. Unsure whether to be afraid, or relieved, Alex cleared his throat as he stared at the faint glow from the man’s long, ivory sword. “Th-Thank you…” He stuttered as he glance down at the savage dog-like demon at the man’s feet. 
 
Drawing back his hood, the man revealed a face fairer than fair, not a mark nor speck of dirt to be seen. His golden hair framed his face as it trailed down his shoulders. “Alexander… it is I, Lucifer.” He shifted uncomfortably as he looked to Alex for any sign his memory may spark back to light. “Do you not recognize your old brother at arms?”
 
Alex blinked a few moments before shaking his head. He looked to his girlfriend who was in awe of the man before her. Brave, handsome, well put together… He turned from her back to Lucifer. “I don’t know who you are… am I supposed to?”
 
A sadness washed over Lucifer’s face as he glanced to the ground. “I was hoping… well, you reminded me of an old friend. We fought together to beat back the demons as Heaven burned around us-“
 
“Heaven? As in the Heaven?” Alex interrupted.
 
“There is no other.” Lucifer stated bluntly. “If you are he, I require your aid.”
 
Alex glanced uncomfortably at the surrounding alley. “What if I was… he? What would you say?” 
 
“I’d tell him the black gates of Hell have fallen.” Lucifer began. “I’d tell him we require his power to beat the demons back from this world, before they reach Heaven again. Before it’s too late.”
 
With a sigh, Alex shrugged to Lucifer. “I wish I was him. I wish I could help you… but I’m just a guy. A guy who couldn’t protect himself and his girlfriend from some rabid dog-“
 
“Hell hound.” Lucifer corrected.
 
“-hell hound… But I’m worthless.” Alex looked down to his feet as he admitted his defeat. Suddenly, Lucifer was standing before him, and his sword had seemingly vanished into thin air. He embraced Alex’s shoulders, one in each hand, and stared him in the eye.
 
“You are worth more than you could ever understand. Even if you aren’t the man I once knew.” Lucifer smiled warmly, a strangely reassuring moment for Alex. “I believe in you. The Gods believe in you. Only you need to believe in you.”
 
Suddenly a torrent of memories and images came flooding back into Alex’s mind as if that phrase were a key. Scenes of dead angels, scenes of hell hounds ripping at flesh, scenes of demons being chased through a large obsidian gate and finally, Alex being gifted by the Arch Angels with a mortal life again.
 
Alex wrestled from Lucifer’s grasp and leaned against a nearby wall as he felt weak. His knees wobbled and his mind felt light. A retch or two later evacuated his stomach of its contents, and he wiped at his mouth with his sleeve. “So many gaps, so many questions…”
 
“I may fill you in.” Lucifer smiled broadly, happy to see his friend back from beyond his reach. “The story is as such. Many millennia ago, there was only the Lord and his three guardians. Myself, Gabriel and Dullahan. The Lord had finally finished his greatest masterpiece in creation, Heaven, and required us all to perform tasks in its function. I was the protector, Gabriel was the watcher and Dullahan was the guide.”
 
“What do you mean protector, watcher and guide? People here believe you’re evil!” Alex interrupted.
 
“In a sense, I am. I fell victim to temptation.” Lucifer swallowed the feelings and pushed on for his friend’s sake. “I fell in love with a newcomer to Heaven, despite having sworn an oath to The Lord. He replaced me with Gabriel and replaced him with Raguel. I walked in shame through Heaven for sometime, as The Lord knew not what to do to punish me, me being one of his chosen.”
 
“After many years, demons began to flood from this world. Evil had risen and a darkness had taken shape while we became consumed with the beauty of Heaven. They came from the depths to sack the Heavens and I lead the charge against them, uniting angels new and old alike. You were one of my recruits then, an angel terrified of himself and what was to come. I told you then to believe in yourself, as I did now, and you rallied with me and lead your own group into battle. Together, you and I beat the demons back from Heaven, back to Earth where war, plague and famine were ravaging the angels of the future. As we pushed them deep into the canyon they had emerged from, we passed through the obsidian gateway into Hell and together you and I helped to close it.”
 
“Then why does everyone think you’re evil, and when they’re bad you go to Hell?” Alex asked innocently enough.
 
“Because you do. Every soul becomes an angel, but if you’ve given into the temptations of the darkness then you are sent to Hell as a guardian. Just as I was. We are the defenders of the world against the demons below. I chose to be considered evil so that others could enjoy the beauty of Heaven.” Lucifer stood tall and proud, as Alex straightened himself back into a standing position.
 
Alex furrowed his brow. “Then why are you here? Isn’t there some Hell to be guarding?”
 
“You’re why I’m here.” Lucifer clarified. “The obsidian gates have fallen, my army overwhelmed. I have failed.”
 
“You need me? But I can barely remember who I am!” Alex proclaimed. “I have a life, a partner!”
 
“Who has left you in the dark alley with a strange man.” Lucifer stated as he pointed in the direction the young lady disappeared into. “I can see her devotion.”
 
“How am I supposed to help?” Alex threw his hands into the air in frustration. “I’m a mortal, this is supposed to be my reward!”
 
“We must find Dullahan. He is why my army fell so fast. Supposedly the great equalizer, and he failed to recruit me more guardians.” Lucifer unfolded a piece of parchment from his pocket. “I have an idea of where he may be hiding.”
 
“I can’t remember anything about Dullahan, who is he exactly?” Alex asked.
 
Lucifer turned from his parchment as he folded it back up and placed it into his pocket. “He’s the Archangel of Death.” As he spread his expansive, black feathered wings, he extended a hand to Alex. “And he’s ignored his duties for far too long.”
 
***
 
I’d love any comments or suggestions about the writing above and the ideas and concepts I’ve introduced! Anyway back to my other story writing and working on the “outline” behind Jefferson & The Eternal Mana (Book 2 of the Circle of Magic Trilogy). Also, what books or events have inspired you folk out there into writing? I’d love to hear about it! 

Meet My Character Blog Tour

So I have been tagged in Alex’s post over at the Valourborn blog in regards to an introduction to what you’re working on and one of the characters from it. Interesting concept, like chain mail… but for something I actually care about. Nice! Well Alex, I kindly accept your curiosity and will give you a glimpse into one of the characters from my first completed novel: Jefferson & The Magician’s Curse. As I have mentioned before, sometimes I can float off the beaten path and side characters become more interesting than the protagonist. Such is the case with this character’s back story, as his history could spawn their own novels. My challenge is to not give away too much, but get you interested! 

Q1) What is the name of your character? Is he/she fictional or a historic person?

Well, the name of the character I’m introducing you to is one Gabriel Li Mercador, otherwise known as Gabriel The Great, Magician Extraordinaire.

Q2) When and where is the story set?

The story is set amid the travelling magicians of a replica of 18th Century Vienna. Along with the travelling circus, these magicians also hold their own secret societies and meetings away from the public eye.

Q3) What should we know about him/her?

Gabriel is an extremely powerful magician. His method of recruiting involves a traditional magic show with one element aimed at recruiting into their order: A single live spell. It’s a risky manoeuvre, but as the forbidden arts begin to rise up, he is forced to take action. This is how he comes to mentor the young Jefferson, my protagonist, and together they begin trying to find others as quickly as possible before it’s too late.

Q4) What is the main conflict? What messes up his/her life? 

The main conflict of the story is the rise of the forbidden magic. Magic in my world has three forms: Illusions (Entertainment Magic, or Tricks), Limited Casting (Casting spells using your own energy and life force) and Forbidden Casting (Casting spells channelling the energy of others for unlimited potential, but linking your soul to theirs even through their death). Gabriel himself has experienced the forbidden casting first hand and has come forth to find the one who will end all life on Earth. He believes this to be Jefferson, until he realises that the boy is seemingly good at heart. He decides to train Jefferson in hopes that when the evil shows itself, he will have a powerful ally. Unfortunately, his life begins to take a turn for the worse when he decides to try his hand at controlling the forbidden magic to essentially fight fire with fire. Will he make it out okay? Only time (and my story) will tell you.

Q5) What is the personal goal of the character?

Gabriel’s goal is to end the line of knowledge that enables the forbidden arts to exist. He believes firmly that if the good magicians can control the new recruits and there is no knowledge of the forbidden arts and how to tap into them, then magic can be used in hospitals and entertainment and for other good purposes. He tries desperately to find the one who will lead the charge for the rise of the forbidden arts and stop them before all life on Earth is extinguished in the name of magic.

Q7) When can we expect the book to be published?

First it must go through the editing process a few times. I wrote some of it while I was half asleep, so those important scenes written under the influence of sleep are also half the quality of the rest of the book! My partner in crime is still working on that, but as we both work full time, it’s hard to get into it and beat it out. I’m hoping on her school holidays (she’s a teacher) she may make some headway. Especially if she wants me to get published and make some money writing!

In the meantime, I have a story called Circle of Vengeance up in the iBook Store and on Lulu.com for free. That story has been edited roughly 20 times (although I did still find a spelling mistake the other day… drats) but is well polished for a short story. Feel free to check that out! (Links are down the right side of the page). 

 

HMM. Who should be my victims? I mean, lovely people whose stories I would like to know more about. Just answer the above questions in your own post (Unless of course you don’t want to, that’s totally fine!). I’d love to reconnect though and this is as good as an excuse as any!

  • Serena – It’s been awhile since I’ve swung by, will you indulge me?
  • Lizzee – Hope story life is treating you well, who will you dish up?
  • Nikki – Seems you’ve been busy, but what character would you like us to know?

Thanks in advance if you decide to take me up on this, if not good luck with your writing and I hope to see your novel on a shelf near me sometime soon!

Short Story Day Of

Hello! I am posting this a bit later than I was hoping to but my day off went pretty well in the writing vain. The next two days at work have just ravaged me however.

But you ladies and gents don’t want to hear about work, you want to hear about crazy stories and successful inspiring tales about how a writer dusted off the old keyboard and descended into the depths of their own creativity. Am I right? Well! Let me tell you a little about what I wrote!

I just recently watched Disney’s Frozen, and enjoyed it quite a bit. My idea was to write a new Disney film using some tragedy and heart-warming story about love and responsibility. What I came up with was fun to write (In fact, despite not hitting 10k like I had hoped, I’m still going past there) and keeps on going!

The story starts off by introducing you to Arnica “Wolf’s Bane” Montana, a tall, muscular blond man with a beard and devilish grin.Most likely from a nearby mountainous region around the 1200s, he is a hunter by trade but by using a crossbow. He is rushing home to his wife, who is having their first born and stops for pie during his rush home.

It is shortly after this you meet the young Luna, sadly only to lose her mother at birth. This leaves poor “Arni” to try and raise the poor girl the best he can in their tiny one room house. As she grows however, the first full moon that comes along transforms her into a wolf pup to which she howls, sending her father searching for wolves close to the house.

The werewolves in my story have the unfortunate side effect of transforming in direct moonlight (Moonlight being the name of the story) and out of direct moonlight in the four days leading up to and after the full moon (when the moon is considered most powerful). This leads poor Arni to block all of his windows by boarding them up. Also, during the early years, Luna cannot recall her transformations. It isn’t until she gets her friends into trouble (which they don’t make it out of in my story) and remembers it as if it were a dream at thirteen that she starts to consider something is different about her.

While Luna is young, the pup is cute and cuddly, not seeing Arni as a threat in the least. There are many nights Arni goes to bed cuddling his daughter, only to wake up face to face with a wolf. However his curfews start to bother her as she grows older and they begin to get into more fights. Arni finds if they have a fight near a full moon and she transforms, the wolf is particularly savage. Luckily for him, any wounds suffered trying to calm the wolf can be attributed to his hunting of wolves. He gets scratched in the face and narrowly avoids losing an eye. A few days later when Luna sneaks out, he is forced to hunt her down and bring her back but the townsfolk begin to start rumours and Arni decides it would be best to head for a place called Nevernight, where the sun only sets for an hour and the moon itself never makes an appearance.

This is where I am up to in my story (at a total of just over 9k words) and I am hoping to get back to it soon. The land of Nevernight will have its challenges and father and daughter will have to work together to stop the evil behind the town’s lack of a moon, but at the risk of losing a possible good home for Luna where she wouldn’t worry about her transformations. Maybe I cure her? Maybe she meets her wolf prince? Who knows… I’m not there yet!

But I have failed in the act of hitting my 10k for one day and that makes me sad.

Luckily I have this wonderful story to write, which will distract me from that sadness. My advice? Get out there and put down words! One after the other! With punctuation and verbs, maybe some nouns! Writing is the only thing that gets you over not writing.

Although I leave you with the ultimate irony: I bought a time management book to help me achieve my goals… sadly, I haven’t found a moment to read any of it yet… :-/

Good luck fellow writers and thanks for stopping by! How goes your progress? I won’t (Read: Can’t) judge!

Today's End, Tomorrow's Productivity.

The usual blog post here would be about how I can’t get anything done.

Today? I bid you a sincere goodbye.

Tomorrow? I am going to destroy you with words.

I will crank out 10000 words. No holds barred. Bring it on. Progress report to follow in two days. Wish me luck, heading to plan my breaks in advance. 

(Stay tuned…)

PS- I’m definitely not the first to come up with this I’m sure, but I just laughed aloud when I said to myself: The first rule of write club is we only write in write club!

Power Level, Over Three Thousand?

Oh Dragon Ball Z… you still slay me after all these years.

But seriously… my blog has finally reached another milestone, of three thousand views. I want to thank all of you who actually swing by and donate some of your time to making me feel important. It may not seem like much to happen upon someone’s site and take a quick look, but to me? That means a lot! There aren’t many people in my life outside of this blog that I share my writing with and even fewer who actually care. Sometimes as a writer, you feel as though you are the only one who really gives a damn about your story. No one makes time for it. No one helps you with it. You are alone in a vast imaginary wasteland of your own devising.

Your quick stop by? It is like the shining light that makes me continue through that lonely darkness. The comments? Like a message in a bottle found on the beaches of despair. You are not alone, the only message inside.

No no, don’t read this wrong! I am not depressed! But I want to express the feelings of every blogger out there, that feeling of writing something and having no one view it or that feeling of having even just one person view it! Your few minutes is beyond welcome and I cannot express my gratitude enough.

*Sniff* So thanks again!

Ahem! *Cough* Moving on. So I’ve been embarking on a journey of trying to learn a third language… Which is harder than expected. Firstly, how the hell did I ever learn English?! Immersion definitely helped. But then how did I learn French?! Oh right… French Immersion (Ou, L’Immersion Francais… I know, difficult translation, right?) But now… I’m staring at these Kanji and Kana and my brain can recognize some of the Kana already and I know the sounds. But there is one thing I’m not sure on… grammar. Also, how certain things change depending on what symbol comes after it. My brain melted at trying to translate the very first line of one of the video games I bought while I visited Japan.

From what I have gathered… it has something to do with a birthday. Shortly thereafter, I had a nap. My Uncle had told me while I was in Japan he still can’t read some signs (he’s been there twenty five years… what chance do I have?), he also said learning to speak it was easier. Sadly, not all my games dictate what is happening on the screen to me. As it stands, I have three books on Japanese and a memory like game to help me recognize and register the different Kanji and Kana. My goal is to eventually write my uncle a letter in Japanese, admittedly most likely poor Japanese… but a letter nonetheless!

As for my writing, the blog has been doing well at getting me back into the habit. (Thanks again!) Sometimes I wish I could just head to a positive space for my writing needs every single day. Sadly my routine starts at six in the morning with the puppies and then work, followed by either cooking or cleaning from dinner followed by spending some time with my partner and the pups before heading back off to bed around ten in the evening. I’ve tried to write on my breaks at work (what an impossibility that is) and I never accomplish anything. Currently I am writing on my days off (so… see you next Tuesday most likely…) but hopefully soon I will be able to get out of work on time as we will be back up to the full compliment of management.

Also in the realm of writing, I appear to require more effort into describing scenes and people. My story is action and dialogue driven… but the feedback I have received is that there are only a few places where I have gone into detail. Perhaps I should have been a scriptwriter instead? Oh well… as an effort here is the scene I am currently writing in, from my own perspective, as practice.

***

My beard itches as I lean against the back of the couch. I remember now why we bought this one, as it’s embrace cuddles me like a throne of pillows. I satisfy my beard’s itch with my right hand, while my left one slides across the suede like texture of the cushions. I feel a quick prick, as my hand drifts onto the brown microfibre blanket covering the majority of the couch. Damn dogs… My fingers pluck a thin and pointed burr from the plush blanket. They’re lucky I love them. I secretly drop it into my girlfriend’s box of teaching things, which looks about as well organized as a game of fifty-two pick up. She wasn’t feeling well yesterday, so she probably just tossed it onto the couch, in my spot. I feel a bit like Sheldon Cooper from the TV Show, The Big Bang Theory. It’s in my spot… That’s my spot. I chuckle to myself as my right hand finds another pointed burr. I toss it onto the table, past my silver and black Chromebook.

With a twinge, I learn forward and push the tiny burr into a small pile of other similar pointy objects. Stupid back… stupid spot just below my ribs. I shrug the short dull pain off as I glance to a pile of three books on the “el cheapo” coffee table. The table was free, so I won’t argue. It still serves its purpose. The books are stacked three high; Japanese Bilingual Dictionary, The Kodansha Kanji Learner’s Dictionary and a book on Japanese Kanji and Kana. Roughly a sixty dollar investment into being frustrated. I’ve already managed my sixty dollars of frustration, time to move into productivity. Suddenly my laptop hits a song I like by Them Crooked Vultures and pumps it through my headphones. So much for that. I listen close as the song powers on, its distracting melody pleasuring my ear drums.

My eyes drift from the laptop to my beautiful TV as my fingers pump away at the Macbook-like keyboard before me. Fifty five inches of sexy LG goodness on top of a bookshelf from IKEA; one of those four by two even square shelves, The Kallax. The two latest Playstation consles sit just below the TV on top of the shelf, amid the blanket of dust. Seems I’m not only neglecting my writing… I consider playing a game, but the one I am in the middle of just isn’t keeping my attention. With so little time to do what I want, I’ve considered cutting it loose. The clutter below the consoles in the TV’s cabinet are behind glass and not as dusty at least. I skim across the spines of my collection of Marvel graphic novels, which when placed in order, create a landscape photo with the various heroes side by side. It’s a fantastic idea however, I’ve begun putting things in front of them. A card for my own birthday over a month ago, various Japanese knick-knacks and two books block the majority of the Marvel spines.

My eyes stop on the final of the four top panels and behind the class door is a small obsession of mine. Seven books, all silk bound hard covers, all philosophy and self help books. My self diagnosed O.C.D. arranged them in colour order: Yellow, Orange, Red, Maroon, Purple, Blue, Green. My eyes drift over the titles: The Prince, The Art of the Samurai, The Art of War, Marco Polo’s Silk Road, The Prophet, Tao Te Ching and The Five Rings. The amount of wisdom contained within those books is like having your own life lesson course in a glass case. I shift my legs out from under me and stretch across to the other lounge chair, until I’m comfortably on my side. What is the point of all of this? Will this make me a better writer?

The shelf in the corner looms in the shadows of the room, with virtually the entire Barnes & Noble leather-bound collection on its top two shelves. I shift back into a cross legged position as my back protests resting on my elbow, while I consider pulling down a book to read. George R. R. Martin’s advice was to read, anything and everything, fiction and non, in the quest to write better. From Isaac Asimov’s Foundation Trilogy to Poe’s complete Tales and Poems and further along to Ray Bradbury and HP Lovecraft; I stare at the shelf in awe. It is as if I have all my favourite authors watching over me, trying to guide me onto the path to success. I lean back and stare at what I’ve written on my Macbook mockery. The word count rings in at nearly fifteen hundred as Them Crooked Vultures loops back around and breaks into possibly my favourite riff of all time. I shrug off the idea of editing the blog post, and smile at my reflection in the TV before me. Welcome back my muse, shall we get started then?

***

Practice makes perfect right? If anyone has any suggestions into my ability to describe or how I could better use description… I’d love to know. I don’t think I used smell in my above description, but then again… I hope my house doesn’t smell at all! Anyway, I’m off to eat and write a quick short story before I practice some Japanese! It’s noon already and the day flies by when you’re having fun… hope you’re all having a good day out there and thanks again for stopping by! If you’d like me to read some of your stuff, just post it in the comments! I will get to it eventually, I promise! (I still have a few to read already, so it may be a bit!) Anyway thanks and take care! Hope everyone out there is winning!

Limbo, Lust, Gluttony, Greed, Anger, Heresy, Violence, Fraud, Treachery… And Other Ways To Live Your Life To The Fullest

Limbo…

A place where every procrastinator, myself included, spends most of their time. A philosophical question… is to not try, failing? A hockey player once said, “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” He is right, statistically, but he also had a gift which got him into an arena where he could take as many shots as he wanted. If writing was like a sports team, I’d have quit my day job years ago and started practicing to get paid where I could take all the shots I wanted. Sadly, this is not the case… so I work, to pay the bills. By the end of the work day, I am tired to the point of ADD and cannot focus. I hear that coffee stuff does wonders… too bad I hate the taste. So here I sit… writing a blog… in Limbo.

Lust…

The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. Isn’t that true? Whether it’s a job or a story idea… there’s always something us silly humans are lusting after. More money? I want it. More free time? Sign me up. Story about a boy magician or a story about  fighting for the iron throne? I wish I’d written that. Despite my best efforts, I always see some shinier idea and leap upon it… leaving my old idea sad, alone and unfinished. If I could somehow tie all my incomplete stories together, I’d have one badass series of books. Sadly, the moment that I came up with a better idea, I’d be off lusting after that one too… damn sexy ideas. I blame the characters.

Gluttony…

Do I overindulge into my worldly pleasures? Perhaps… I only have a hundred games or so and a hundred books… or more. I do not eat to health, but instead to convenience. I do not drink, unless we count drinking in the stories of other creative types who have made it. As for those, I am drowning in them. I have more books than I have free time. I have more games than I have books. I am a glutton for a good story and even more so for great media in general. They say the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem… right?

Greed…

As I sit among all my things, I realise that I probably relate closer to Smaug than anything else. I am rational for the most part. Until I want something. Then I can ignore prices and my own common sense. For instance, my obsession with collector’s edition books has managed to get to the point where my bookshelf is starting to bow. They are all books that I wish to read, but never make time for. Do I buy more? Of course. Who doesn’t? Does that make me greedy? Yes, yes it does.

Anger…

No one is more frustrated with me, than me. My girlfriend is probably a close second, and my coworkers a close third. Work is fulfilling. Numbers do not lie and when you are doing well, you see it reflected in the numbers. That is why I like work so much. My brain releases endorphins when I succeed. I succeed at work, through others. That is why I love it. I can pump them up, get them excited, start them on the task and leave… only to come back and follow up. Easy right? Now to accomplish anything in my personal life, it is not so easy. I am angry that I have lost the focus and the capacity to accomplish outside of the work setting. I am angry that I get distracted easily. I am angry that I seemingly have tons of time for a bunch of things I have no actual interest in, and no time for the things I want to accomplish. I’m just an angry guy apparently.

Heresy…

For this particular circle of awesomeness, I am a heretic on multiple levels I suppose. I believe the future of movies lies in video games. *GASP* Although I have also lived the majority of my life believing in no God, and also with the belief that if we are indeed creatures of a God’s creating he will be happy with how I have lived my life and the lessons I have learned and will hopefully learn before I die. Let us take a look at the commandments. 

  1. You shall have no other gods before Me. (What about no God at all?)
  2. You shall not make idols. (George R.R. Martin is my hero.)
  3. You shall not take the name of the LORD your God in vain. (Didn’t anyone work retail back in those days?)
  4. Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. (Which one is that? My day off?)
  5. Honor your father and your mother. (I have cursed them and loved them dearly throughout my entire life. I still hate it when Mom is right.)
  6. You shall not murder. (That’s easy, unless he means anything. In which case… I’m sorry, but spiders are terrifying.)
  7. You shall not commit adultery. (What constitutes adultery anyway? I mean, if a man can take many wives… where is the line?)
  8. You shall not steal. (I was young! I did it to be popular! I learned!)
  9. You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor. (Who hasn’t lied to get out of something?)
  10. You shall not covet. (See Lust above. Whoops.)

So there you have it… I’ve broken most of those outdated commandments and people consider me to be a nice guy. I’m sure my version of God will be impressed I’m not a lunatic… sadly if it is the biblical version, well… I’ll fit into any of the nine circles of hell. Party on the lake of fire. Whoo.

Violence…

I’m not a violent person… unless I get frustrated with a video game or get backed into a corner. I’ve been in a few fights over my years, but hey, we’re all fighting for something, right?

Fraud…

I talk of being a writer, when really I’m not. I’m a manager first and a writer… umm… roughly twelfth. It is nice to be something that you’re not occasionally, like when I am a writer first and foremost. In a sense, we may all be frauds until we truly discover who we actually want to be. I can fit into virtually any group, but that doesn’t mean that is who I am.

Treachery… 

Betrayal of trust. So many people believe that I have lied about completing a book because it is still in the editing phase. *Shrug* Well it is. But when I was young, I betrayed the trust of many people; Friends, family and strangers. Lies became a basis of what I did to get out of things and eventually it took getting out of that crowd and a fight to realise what was happening. Although anyone can be deceptive if they put their mind to it. After all, I am in customer service… deception sometimes keeps both the customer happy and the business’s image untarnished while everything gets sorted out.

So… as you see above, if I were in the Divine Comedy… I would fit comfortably in most circles of Hell. As it stands for now, they are the nine circles of my own personal torment, but I’ll get there someday. After reading some tips and hints from one of my favourite authors, George R. R. Martin, I think it is about time to start giving my writing back some priority. Ironically, I am still awaiting my copy of the Barnes & Noble Leatherbound Classics Edition of The Divine Comedy. Curse you back orders, curse you!

One final note too, that made me quite the “happy chappy” was this quote from Mr. Martin himself: “I’ve always said there are – to oversimplify it – two kinds of writers. There are architects and gardeners. The architects do blueprints before they drive the first nail, they design the entire house, where the pipes are running, and how many rooms there are going to be, how high the roof will be. But the gardeners just dig a hole and plant the seed and see what comes up. I think all writers are partly architects and partly gardeners, but they tend to one side or another, and I am definitely more of a gardener. In my Hollywood years when everything does work on outlines, I had to put on my architect’s clothes and pretend to be an architect. But my natural inclinations, the way I work, is to give my characters the head and to follow them.” That is how I wrote my story to completion was to have a few plot points to hit, and let the characters do the walking. I’m also starting to believe the game idea I had where six characters all affect the same world should be more like how I write. It’s been right there all along!

The Journey…

Life has an incredible way of throwing curve balls. Whether I’m at work, or at home… there is no end to the surprises in store for me. This year was supposed to be the year I manage to get published, or at least put in a solid effort towards it. In case you haven’t noticed, writing has drifted somewhere into Neverland along with this poor, dusty old blog. Does that mean I’ve been unproductive? Not at all! But the things that mean the most to me for the most part come in last. Since I last wrote on this blog… Wow… Has it been that long?

The last thing I wrote was a scene I’d had in mind for a long time. Almost two months ago. That is embarrassing. So much has happened since then! 

Firstly, I finally achieved one of my biggest goals in life; To travel to Japan and visit my Uncle. It has been a long time coming and it did not disappoint. From seeing my extended family, to gaming culture, to the Japanese culture and even further onto the history and beauty that is Japan… It was not hard to see why I know so many people who love Japan, and miss it so. For me, it felt like home; Safe and comfortable, yet exciting and new. 

Seeing my Uncle was incredible, after all, the last time we had seen each other was my father’s funeral (his brother). It was a rough time then, but we made the best of our time together given the circumstances. This time was not like that at all, but despite him running his own business and rushing everywhere, it was fantastic to spend the time with him and share some laughs and learn some family history. It was great spending some time with my wonderful Aunt and my cousins (who are both much taller, older and funnier than their shy younger years). I cannot thank them enough for opening up their home to us for the first few nights of our stay. Started off with some great relaxing for the trip ahead!

After this we went straight to Tokyo (stayed in Shinjuku) and enjoyed the sights and the city. Despite the enormous amount of people walking near the train station (which Japan’s trains are the best system I’ve been on, crammed, but efficient), there was always a sense of order and it seemed almost as if people moved in well coordinated lines. Also unlike most other places, people make the effort to move out of the way and make space for you no matter where you are. Just little kindnesses here and there, but they all added up. Our room was spacious and decently close to most of the areas we wanted to hit before moving on from Tokyo. 

I became obsessed with BookOff and the many small gaming shops around the city. We saw so much in regards to anime and gaming that my mind began to melt (and my wallet began to empty). I definitely picked up a Dragonball, some merchandise at a Pokemon Center (just one of many visits across Japan), some games that are never to be released in english speaking countries and paid my tribute at the Square-Enix cafe. All honesty, I could live there tomorrow if things were going differently. 

Next we headed into Kyoto with a bit of unease as we arrived. We had heard stories such as: it was hard to get around, experienced racism and people generally aren’t helpful. Within moments all of this was drowned with the kindness from the people around us and the fact that Kyoto has a bus pass that is a hop on, hop off anywhere pass for an entire day. Handy for the traveller there for a few days. Kyoto was absolutely beautiful; the history, the traditions and the people. Seeing kimonos first hand was extremely interesting as it still it the fashion there, unlike the budding metropolis we had visited just days earlier. Also in Kyoto, we found a restaurant… no, THE restaurant. It was a Do-It-Yourself Tempura feast, you paid one price and ate until your time was up. We may have gone back there again the next night… no regrets. 

From there we headed into Osaka. To me, I loved Osaka, both heart and soul. Tokyo was too crammed to feel quite comfortable for me, but Osaka was almost the calmer version. It still had the rich gaming culture and anime everywhere, but without the foot traffic and regular traffic of Tokyo. Here is where I did most of my shopping (games I held onto for years were available here for roughly $5 and were still popular!) and I made the decision I will need to learn Japanese. I’ll get to that later. For an afternoon, my girlfriend and I parted ways and I ventured around the city. I swung by many small back alley shops and marvelled at games that cost in the upwards of $6000 (first editions and rarities). It was hard to leave Osaka, but we still had another stop.

Atami was our stop in at a hotel that was styled like a traditional Japanese guest house. We wore our robes and went to eat dinner, when we realised that we were most certainly the only white people in the whole building (or perhaps even city…) We felt out of place for a few minutes as people pointed us out and the such, but then everything went about as if nothing happened. It was an odd feeling, but I’m sure to them, it was an odd sight! Here I fell in love with melon soda (or green, delicious, fizzy nectar of the gods as I like to call it) and we then headed back to the airport for the trip home.

So that was my journey into Japan. Before we left however my boss told me he had news. All of the sales managers for the local area were shifting stores. Without so much as a chance to say goodbye, I found out that was my last day and when I arrived back in Australia, I’d be headed into a different store. Going from a mall store to a destination store is tricky, especially now that Christmas is gone. That means I can work on growing the clientèle until then, but when Christmas hits we have to be in tip top shape. It is the only time of year you can hit a huge customer base and work hard to keep them for after the season. I did it with EB Games, and now it’s my plan with this store. Just means it’s going to be a long wait until then.

As for my writing… it has fallen off the wagon. Getting puppies was a fantastic idea, and I love them to death… but my productivity has disintegrated. I feel terribly guilty when I don’t pay attention to them as we have to pretty much lock them in the laundry while we work during the day. In our home we don’t have a nice yard they can just play in (hopefully in our next place they will) so we both feel as though we owe it to them to give them our undivided attention while we’re home. As one of my days off falls during the week, I still keep them away while I am home so not only as to get things done, but keep their during the week routine consistent as my day off may not be the same from week to week.

Also trying to fit gaming, writing and learning Japanese into my non existent free time has proven quite the challenge. My last days off were spent weeding the garden (AKA TJ Versus the Plant Spires Of DOOOM), cleaning the house (AKA Revenge of the Dust Hares), catching up on the laundry (AKA Attack of the Pasta Stains 2) and IKEA Furniture Assembly (AKA How Not To Assemble Furniture). The last game I played was on my iPhone (I’m so ashamed… all these game consoles and no playing time on them as of late) and in the washroom, where I have uninterrupted free time! Hurray for irritable bowel syndrome!

Anyway I am hoping to get back into it pretty soon, most likely in about two weeks time when my boss returns from holidays and I can focus on getting out of work on time. As for gaming, I’ll get there when I retire. *Sigh* Any one out there have any decent time management strategies/books they’d like to suggest or tips!? I’m all ears!

My mind is hazy as I stir from my slumber as my head pounds with the force of a thousand jack hammers. Despite my eyes being wide open, I see only darkness. The rope bites into my wrists as I struggle to move from my sitting position. Tied to a chair. Never a good sign.

“Shh… He’s awake…”

The voice is slightly accented, but not welcoming at all. I turn toward the sound of footsteps as they draw near. Suddenly the darkness is lifted like a shroud and the light tears at my eyes. The stinging sensation rings alarms in my head, which accents the existing pain perfectly.

“Alex. Lovely to see you again.”

I squint through the agony into the man’s face and watch as his features refocus into someone I know. The man before me with the fantastic moustache and dark hair slicked to the side was none other than the man I was sent to investigate. “Jackson? What’s going on…” Of course, I already knew the answer to that. He had been discovered as a double agent for a few different countries, so he was put on a blacklist, which is why I was here.

“Yeah, we’re not going to play that game.” Jackson said as he stepped back and withdrew a pistol. “It’s a shame they sent you.” He nodded to a man standing behind me and suddenly the sound of jack hammers became much louder as the wind whistled in through the room. “I almost liked you.” 

He placed a single foot between my legs and tilted the chair backwards until I realised what the jack hammers were. We were on a train… and I was leaning out the door, my life at the mercy of a double agent. I stared down at his foot until he laughed. 

“Don’t bother.” Jackson laughed. “The number one agent in the world? Hardly.” He raised the gun and pointed it at my head. “Good bye Mr. Avanti. You’ll be sorely missed.”

The gun’s discharge felt as though it were in slow motion. I saw my life flash before my eyes. Training new recruits. First kiss. Broken and left for dead. As the world went dark, the whistling was almost soothing as I plummeted from the train to the waters below. My last clear image was Jackson watching my corpse falling to its doom before being taken by the darkness.

 

This is a scene I have had in mind for forever, but I hate writing full stories when I’m tired. I still will revisit this at some point, but I would love to be able to write the next Bond movie with this scene in it and also instead of being crazy action being a much more psychological thriller with action. That’d be fun! Anyway, I’m going to eat and sleep because I feel exhausted. But hopefully I’ll get some editing done tonight!

How go your own projects?

Counting Chickens

Two weeks ago, I had a minor moment of panic when the company I work for told me that in a mere few days, they would be reclaiming my work vehicle. I wasn’t a huge van of the van I was driving, but it was a lease which meant everything was covered and paid for out of an illusionary sum that went towards it. It worked out much cheaper in the end and with gas prices being what they are are, it was awesome!

But now I’d be losing the van in only a short days… lucky for me I had given my old one thousand dollar beater to my girlfriend’s parents as a run car for their newsagency. As I summoned the beast back into my possession, I realized I needed this new car… badly. My old beater was now fast approaching three hundred and seventeen thousand kilometers and idles like I imagine leaving the atmosphere feels like.

So I got into gear and contacted the lease company with my idea to get my dream car; A Blue Volkswagen Jetta. I know, aim high right? But seriously ever since I saw the original 1999 Jetta, I fell in love. Once I finally owned a Jetta with its beautiful forest green exterior and tan leather interior, I was sunk. It drove smooth, was a beast in the winter and was the most reliable and wonderful car I’ve ever driven. I sold it to a friend who I hope is taking care of it. I’m sure he is.

So back to my beautiful Tempest Blue, 2014 Volkswagen Jetta. I figured I would settle with a used one, a few years old, a couple of thousand kilometers on it. The offer they shot me back was the brand new one, no kilometers… mine. MINE. I stared at the sheet, only had to pay thirty dollars a week out of pocket to get it. My dream car. My precious…

I signed the lease so fast the pen nearly shredded the paper. Every time the lease company asked for more information it got back to them within moments. I was skipping the aisles at work. A Jetta! Blue! Mine! I began to consider in my head what I would do in the next few days to prepare for its arrival. Then I pushed back a bit and shook my head. Now, now… don’t get too excited. She hasn’t made you sign the lease yet. I thought to myself. I’ve always been cautious, I hate heartbreak. Then eventually she asked for one final thing; A copy of my Australian Visa.

I thought nothing of it. Scanned and emailed it and rejoiced. At that point, she could only ask for a blood sample and some hair… she knew everything pretty well by that moment in time. So I began to rejoice. This actually seemed like it was going to happen, after all, she had ordered the car to the dealership. Companies don’t really order cars until they are paid for them.

I began to sing glory and dance and plan on how fast I could clean out the garage and get an automatic roller door installed. I had a day off coming up, I could do it then! I posted to Facebook with a picture of the potential car I would be getting. Excitement and relief set in.

Only to have it all shattered.

I got a call, it was the lease company. Calls are never good, especially when all of your prior correspondence has been through email. I was notified because of the type of visa I’m on, I wouldn’t be eligible for a lease until it changed over. That would be in September twenty fifteen as I am a temporary resident, but you simply must wait for two years to become permanent. She promised me she’d do what she could… but something tells me it is not going to happen. I blame Facebook. Once I went all social media happy… that was when I got the call. People had already seen it, commented, understood how much I loved the car.

It was heartbreaking.

So now I drive a station wagon instead of a Volkswagen, a 1994 instead of a 2014 and white (which I detest) instead of blue (my favorite color). Irony has a wonderful way of bending me over the barrel. It could be worse though. I could have no car at all. But the lesson to be learned folks?

Don’t count your chickens before they’ve hatched.

Or in this case, cars before you’ve got the keys.

*Sob*

I suppose I should cancel my Volkswagen merchandise order. *Sigh*

As for writing, I have bought more books and am currently awaiting the Harry Potter series for me to reread. As JK Rowling is an inspiration to me, I am hoping that I can reread her series to sharpen my descriptions and structure. My story is too dialogue driven and would almost be a better movie script in its current form than a book. But hey, that’s what editing is for, right?

Right!