As I logged into my laptop on this fine January evening in Australia, my MacBook reminders begin popping up.

“Work – 9 AM – Tomorrow.”

“1 new mail message.”

“You have Facebook notifications.”

And then…

“HarperCollins Wednesday Press – Cut off.”

A part of me knew nothing would happen. But then, somewhere deep inside the darkest corners of my soul, a small light was glowing. This light, the light of optimism, had been beaten back and abused into submission as my pessimistic side took on a Hulk-like form. Still though, somewhere in there… that damn voice whispered, “You can do it!” “Maybe this will be the year?!” “Your manuscript is flawless, and I’m insane!”

Insane indeed.

As my brain tried desperately to grasp the concept and plans for solar panels for our future home, I had almost forgotten about… okay, I’m lying. I checked my email roughly every three hours from the moment I woke up, until the last thing I did before my dance with the sandman. But for the most part, I didn’t stress about it. In fact, on this lovely Disappointment Eve, I can say one thing.

I tried.

And I will try again.

Maybe not tomorrow. Maybe not the next day.

But it is coming.

While I consider when to submit again, I will find a writer’s group (somehow) and I will go to the Writing Centre at the Uni (when they get back to me). I need more unbiased people to look at my story. I need people who aren’t afraid to hurt my feelings and tell me it is rubbish and I write like a sixth grader. I will absorb all of that, so long as they explain why and what makes it so. I want to learn, yearn to learn even.

With this trilogy plotted out with book one completed, a prequel in my notes and another trilogy set in the same universe years later with book one at fifty thousand or so words… I’m loving it! To think that this time next year I could possibly have my writing room set up and be completing at the very least book two for Jefferson or book one of Pandemonium is just insane!

For now, I will try to sleep as tomorrow is the official last day for HarperCollins to get back to me. Tomorrow will be a long day (especially being day one after two days off) and I am hoping there’s a lot going on to keep my mind off my emails. Although I do wonder what number they actually select from each bunch or if they select any at all?

Ah well, until tomorrow! Wish me luck! Get me some of that good karma!