Ladies, Gentleman, Ghouls, Ghosts, Doers, Dreamers… And the rest of you. I have one thing to say…

Where the hell did the time go?

I haven’t posted in a few months… quite a few months. Writing hasn’t left me, my mind is always in the land of writing and among my characters. Suddenly my feed is rife with NaNoWriMo posts and status updates. November first… what have I been doing for the past few months?

I would love to tell you all I’ve hit the big time, been published and travelled the world on book tour. That’d be the dream. What has really happened is I’ve been having a staring contest with the manuscript I put together and quite literally time has passed, seasons have changed… hell, I’m a different person.

Everyone tells a writer that the hardest part about writing is just that; The Writing. I’m here to tell you, any moron with access to a keyboard can write. The actual writing part is up to you but the hardest part comes after. I won NaNoWriMo. I have a book. I actually like it. My girlfriend likes it. I often reread parts and chuckle to myself about how clever the author was (me that is).

So why the hell can’t I send it off? Why is it in a manilla folder just staring back at me with sheer disappointment.

“I’m done, please publish me!” I hear it call, its voice seems but a whisper. Even if it were screaming it through a bullhorn, I hardly think I would be able to bring myself to that point.

I’ve had friends call me out, “If you had a book written, why wouldn’t you publish it? You could be rich!” Such sound logic. I could be, but I am already rich… just not in dollar signs. I am extremely fortunate; I have a lovely girlfriend and we live in Australia, I have a house and we are planning on building a new one to upgrade, I have my dream car (A VW Jetta), I have two of the best dogs in the world (Miniature Dachshund and Cavalier King Charles Spaniel), I have a decent job I love where I am surrounded by a bunch of things I love (Movies, Music, Games, Technology) and everything is going awesome. To be honest, I don’t think we all examine our lives enough when things are going well to just give thanks to the gods (which ever you follow) or to some sort of karma. Life is great, thank you world for this awesome opportunity.

Now that all of that is out of the way, this is the reason I haven’t sent out my manuscript. This is totally a non issue for anyone living in a war torn area, or famine affected or many other terrible situations that could arise. But for me, and my life… this is my biggest problem (that and some of the ridiculous customers I deal with at work, but I’ll save those stories for another day).

I am terrified to let the world into my mind. For those of you attached to the other end of this screen, right now, you’re in there. You barely feel real. But you have been the guinea pigs into the things that go on in my head. We as authors look up some pretty insane things on the web (How long before a body burns to ash? What is the latin name for an axe? What are the creepiest cold cases in the 1800s? Cryptography and secret societies. Worst domestic crimes?) but sometimes letting someone meet all of your imaginary friends is even more terrifying. What if you don’t like them? What if they don’t like you? What if you don’t connect with them? What if there’s not enough peril? What if there’s too much?

It’s a damn good thing I’m already bald!

But for those of you wondering, I will indeed be partaking in the annual writing event of the year. Also, since I’ve been away from the scene for quite some time, who else is? Also what has happened in your life? Guys, I need some details… it’s simply been too long!

As for what I’m writing, I’m going to start with this concept in mind. I am telling one story with a few characters and their own motivations. The catch is there will be two seemingly random events around these characters (An Assassination and A Prison Riot) which have their own characters and plot line outside of the story. The characters involved in these events will have appeared through the story once maybe twice, but the idea is that the protagonist might very well be the one the story is about, but the world is NOT about him. These events may steal his spotlight and put a black mark upon his heroic deeds, but it puts him into an even more dire situation.

For example I picture the protagonist and his merry band of miscreants going to the castle in an attempt to sway the king from his war path. They are suddenly branded as heretics and lined up for execution. But before they are executed by the king himself, he is assassinated by another character who has been existing alongside the main story. He simply leaves them to their fate and they are now locked in a small room, with a dead king and all of them bound to a post. The pressure is on for them to escape before someone arrives to find the dead king and finish the job he started. On the other hand, escaping is essentially proof of their guilt and now they will be hunted by the queen and prince. Oh the tradeoffs. Oh the joy.

Anyway I have 1667 words to write and it’s not getting any earlier. Good luck out there in NaNoWriMo or whatever your monthly task is (That one’s for you Mo’Bros) and I’ll try and post once a day for the next month!